Speaking at a
fundraising dinner hosted by Green Labour, the party's environmental wing, Colin Canary told members that twenty years of night-clubbing and fantastic sex had made him realise what a Prime Minister's disco stick was like "up close."Mr Canary speaking last night
And in a thinly-veiled attack on the Prime Minister's wife Sarah Brown for "deluded" and "fantastical" claims she made in a vomit-enducing appraisal to conference, Mr Canary claimed that Mrs Brown is merely a stand-in as the public face of the Prime Minister's personal life.
"Their marriage is a sham. I am Gordie's real wife and lover. Gordie loves me, always has and always will, and that jumped-up Scottish tart knows it."
Mr Canary, from Bolton, claimed that although Sarah Brown at first accepted her relationship with the PM was purely professional, she has recently become convinced that her marriage to Brown is real. "Her speech today was the last straw, and I feel I have no choice but to speak out," said the irate avian.
"I have kept my silence for nine years, out of love and loyalty to Gordon as Chancellor, and now as Prime Minister. But it has become obvious this woman, as soon as he became PM, started eyeing the nest like a devious, scheming cuckoo."
"I'm not the jealous kind," added Mr Canary. "But how would you feel seeing a stranger publicly claiming she sleeps with your husband, sharing his personal details with a room full of strangers in suits? Yes he is 'messy' and 'noisy', and yes he gets out of bed at some 'terrible' hours, but he gets out of my bed, not that cow's."
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