Businesses in north west Gwynedd were left fuming following confirmation that parts of the new A499 Caernarfon to Mordor carriageway were to be dug up due to surfacing materials being contaminated with the water-borne parasite Cryptosporidium.
Confirming businesses were to endure further living hell while remedial work is carried out, Welsh Assembly Transport Minister and 'Second-in-Command at the Big House' Ieuan Wyn Jones said that unknown to his department, Gwynedd Council and contractors Carillion, agents from militant anti-road movement Wankers Against Lorries & Kars (WALK) managed to contaminate the hardcore with water stolen from nearby Dwr Cymru/Welsh Water reservoirs, using pippettes smuggled on site stuffed up their non meat-shitting vegeterian rectums.
With a stern face and a squeaky voice, Mr Jones revealed he believed it was an inside job. "Some workers were evidently working not only for contractors on the job, but also working to do a jobbie on the contract."
It's not the first time the scheme, heralded as a major engineering breakthrough due to the enormous difficulties faced while widening roads on flat, obstacle free land, has ran into controversy. In 2008, planning was delayed as a colony of an as yet unknown species of humans was found to be living in marshy ground near the village of Trefor, and three months later meerkats were found to be breeding in underground bunkers near Llanaelhaearn. Both instances were later found to be staged by campaigners opposed to "wheeled metal dragons breathing fire and smoke" onto nearby blackberry bushes.
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